Jokesareus - News

2009-12-16T23:22:00.001+11:00

Topless flasher mown down by car

By New Zealand correspondent Kerri Ritchie

A New Zealand woman who flashed her breasts at passing motorists distracted one driver so much he ran her over.

Cherelle Dudfield never meant to literally stop traffic.

She says she was egged on by a friend to flash her breasts at passing cars while standing in the middle of a road in the South Island city of Invercargill.

But the good times turned bad when one of the vehicles crashed into her.

The 18-year-old rolled over the bonnet, and cracked the windscreen, but luckily was not hurt.

Ms Dudfield pleaded guilty in the Invercargill District Court to one charge of disorderly behaviour.

The judge said the behaviour was dangerous and fined her $220.

ABC 16-12-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/16/2773191.htm

. . . . . .

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

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2009-11-08T19:09:00.001+11:00

Fugitive gives own mug shot to newspaper

A British man on the run from police sent a picture of himself to his local paper because he disliked the mug shot they had printed of him as part of a public appeal to track him down.

South Wales police had issued media with the photo of Matthew Maynard, wanted by officers investigating a house burglary, as part of a crackdown on crime in Swansea.

When it appeared in the South Wales Evening Post, the 23-year-old sent the newspaper a replacement photo of himself standing in front of a police van.

They obligingly printed it on the front page.

The police thanked him for helping them in their appeal, saying: "Everyone in Swansea will know what he looks like now."

- Reuters

ABC 8-11-9

. . . . . .

Murphy's Technology Law #6: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.

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Pilots in 'heated discussion' forget to land plane

2009-10-24T10:42:00.001+11:00

Pilots in 'heated discussion' forget to land plane

Aviation officials in the United States are investigating why the pilots on an airliner with 150 people on board lost contact with controllers for an hour and flew more than 200 kilometres past their destination.

The two pilots of North West Airline's flight 188 told US Transport Safety officials they lost contact with Air Traffic controllers because they had become distracted during a heated discussion about airline policy.

Federal investigators are expected to review the plane's voice recorders to determine whether the crew were indeed distracted or whether fatigue had been a factor.

When the airbus A-320 failed to respond to air traffic controllers military authorities were alerted and fighter jets were put on standby status over fears of a hijacking.

- BBC

ABC 24-10-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/10/23/2723000.htm

. . . . . .

Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

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2009-09-02T16:37:00.000+10:00

Mayors on one-way street to head-on collision

Police in Paris are dealing with traffic anarchy after the mayors of two feuding suburbs declared the same busy street one-way - but in opposite directions.

There was chaos among bemused drivers at the point where the rival systems converged, with all traffic forced down one side road.

The confusion followed a decision by the Mayor of Levallois who wanted to introduce a one-way system to free up traffic through his borough.

Fearing an overspill into his district, the Mayor of Clichy, Gilles Catoire, brought in a one-way system running the opposite direction.

The local prefect, representing the French state, has issued a decree ordering the immediate return of two-way traffic in Clichy, accusing its Mr Catoire of provoking serious disorder.

Mr Catoire is refusing to back down, saying he will challenge the decision in court.

- BBC

ABC 2-9-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/02/2674323.htm

. . . . . .

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

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2009-07-15T20:07:00.000+10:00

Novel published one tweet at a time

An American writer who failed to find a publisher for his novel is putting the book on Twitter - 140 characters at a time.

Matt Stewart, a San Francisco-based novelist, began "tweeting" his first book, The French Revolution, on the micro-blogging service on Tuesday (local time).

"As far as I can tell, I'm the first person to release a completed full-length literary novel on Twitter," Stewart wrote on his website, www.thefrenchrev.com.

"Loosely structured on the greatest identity crisis ever, The French Revolution tells the story of a San Francisco family forging its place in history," he said.

Stewart says putting the book on Twitter is a "social experiment" to "see how the world reacts to a long-form tale told in snippets."

He also acknowledges that he has been unable to find a publisher.

"My agent submitted The French Revolution to all the major publishing houses," Stewart said.

"Many of them loved it, but none were willing to buy what they viewed as a 'risky' novel - vivid language, elements of fantasy and farce, raunchy humour," he said.

Stewart says it will take approximately 3,700 "tweets" to transmit all of the 480,000 characters in his book.

- AFP

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/07/15/2626221.htm

. . . . . .

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

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2009-06-24T09:04:00.000+10:00

Police clear street over kids' 'nuclear reactor'

Two six-year-old boys pretending to have built a mini nuclear power plant has prompted German police and the fire brigade to clear their street, authorities said.

The school children in the western town of Oelde had built the nuclear reactor mock-up out of a computer casing and taped a "radioactivity warning" they had printed out from the internet on its side.

"When the boys returned to their 'nuclear power plant' from a brief stop at home they were sent away again as the area and a wide radius around it had been cleared and blocked off," police said in a statement.

Residents were ordered not to leave their homes and firefighters tested for a radioactive leak.

The boys' parents thought the fire department was conducting a drill until they read about the operation online and what led to it.

They reported to the police station and explained their six-year-olds had not managed to build an actual nuclear reactor.

- AFP

ABC 24-6-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/23/2606539.htm

. . . . . .

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

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Escaped snakes ground Qantas plane

2009-04-16T14:20:00.000+10:00

Qantas had to take a plane out of service because of escaped snakes earlier this week.

Four baby pythons went missing from the cargo hold on a flight from Alice Springs to Melbourne on Tuesday.

When staff realised they had escaped from their cage, the aircraft was taken out of service and fumigated, causing delays for passengers.

The snakes remain missing.

ABC 16-4-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/16/2544073.htm

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2009-03-26T10:16:00.001+11:00

Killer SMS rumours sweep Egypt

The Egyptian Government has sought to dispel rumours that a mobile phone text message "from unknown foreign quarters" is spreading around the country and killing those who receive it.

The extraordinary move by Egypt's health and interior ministries follows press reports that an SMS containing a special combination of numbers killed a man in the town of Mallawi south of Cairo.

"He died vomiting blood, followed by stroke, shortly after he received a message from an unknown phone number," the Egyptian Gazette reported.

"The number begins with the symbol (+) and ends with (111)," it said.

An "official security source" was quoted by the official MENA news agency as denying that those who receive the SMS "get splitting headaches followed by brain haemorrhage that leads to death."

A statement from the health ministry quoted health officials in several regions as saying that they had "received no cases with such symptoms"

"These rumours contradict all scientific facts," the statement said.

Egypt's interior ministry has detained three workers at an oil company for allegedly starting the rumours "and they are now being interrogated," MENA said.

- AFP

ABC 26-3-9

. . . . . .

I am not infallible! Omniscient, yes, but infallible?

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'Magic' goat arrested for armed robbery

2009-01-24T18:43:00.000+11:00

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat."

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation.

Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

-Reuters

ABC 24-1-9

. . . . . .

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

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2008-11-27T17:12:00.002+11:00

Barry Manilow music used as punishment

A US judge has hailed as a success a new form of punishment for people who go to court for being too noisy - an hour of listening to Barry Manilow or the theme tune from the children's TV show Barney And Friends.

Judge Paul Sacco said he decided to try something new after noticing that violators brought before his Colorado court for playing their stereos too loudly or disturbing neighbours with band rehearsals kept doing it again.

The usual practice of fining these offenders was not proving to be a deterrent, so he decided to give them a dose of their own medicine and make them listen to his musical selection at high volume for one hour.

"This is a way, when I look back, of teaching manners to people," Mr Sacco, a judge from Fort Lupton Municipal Court in Colorado, told Reuters Television.

He said his methods had cut the number of repeat offenders appearing in his court.

- Reuters

ABC 27-11-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/27/2430951.htm

. . . . . .

If a mute person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

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Woman arrested over cyber-husband's death

2008-10-25T22:30:00.001+11:00

Woman arrested over cyber-husband's death

Fri the 24th of Oct, 2008

A woman has been arrested in Japan after killing off her virtual reality husband in a computer game.

Police say she is suspected of fraudulently accessing the computer account of a man she had married in the virtual world in order to hack into his personal files.

She is then alleged to have killed his avatar or cyberspace alter ego.

The woman has been quoted as saying she was angry that her cyber partner divorced her without warning.

- BBC

ABC 25-10-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/24/2400982.htm

. . . . . .

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

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Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course

2008-09-12T16:54:00.002+10:00

Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course

By Europe correspondent Emma Alberici

The UK's first Jedi course teaching personal development through a Star Wars syllabus will open to students at Queen's University in Belfast from November.

According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.

It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism.

The university says it hopes to attract young Star Wars fans and introduce them to education through open learning.

No prior qualifications are required and the blurb informs students that light sabres are not provided.

ABC 12-9-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/09/12/2362719.htm

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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2008-09-02T09:16:00.002+10:00

Malaysian man gets nut stuck around penis

Sunday the 31st of Aug 31, 2008

A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said.

The nut got stuck on his penis following an erection, the Star newspaper said, forcing him to seek help at a hospital in southern Johor state.

Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.

It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his penis to make it longer.

"The patient is now recovering and we hope to discharge him today (Sunday)," hospital director Daud Abdul Rahim told the Star.

On August 25, another young man in Kuala Lumpur had tried to increase his sexual prowess by slipping a steel ring around his penis, forcing the fire department to cut off the ring after doctors were unable to remove it, the newspaper said.

- AFP

ABC 2-9-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/31/2351244.htm

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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2008-07-12T18:00:00.002+10:00

Russian town puts breasts on a pedestal

A Russian town plans to unveil a monument that shows a man's hand gripping a nubile female breast, which officials say will bring "family happiness" to men who touch it, Russian media reported.

The monument will be opened to the public Saturday in Bataisk, a town of about 100,000 in the Rostov region of southern Russia, a spokesman for the Bataisk administration told the Interfax news agency.

"A bas-relief of a female silhouette has been made on a metal plate, with a man's hand on the breast. It is believed that if a man touches this bust, he will gain family happiness," the spokesman said.

Sculptor Anatoly Sknarin was inspired by a similar sculpture he saw in the red-light district of Amsterdam, the Moskovsky Komsomolets daily newspaper reported.

- AFP

ABC 12-7-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/07/12/2301991.htm

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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This week Chaweng Beach.

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2008-07-06T21:20:00.002+10:00

Shopkeepers warned of sheep in Queen's clothing.

The 6th of July 2008

New Zealand shopkeepers are being fleeced by fake 100 dollar notes featuring a sheep wearing a tiara in the place where Queen Elizabeth's portrait should be.

Police said the notes, which all bear the same serial number, were crude forgeries but some merchants in Rodney, near Auckland, where they were circulating, were taken in, the Herald on Sunday reported.

The Queen's tiara-wearing portrait features on all New Zealand bank notes.

DPA

SMH 6-7-8

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/warning-over-sheep-in-queens-clothing/2008/07/06/1215282624396.html

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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This week Chaweng Beach.

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2008-07-03T12:03:00.002+10:00

Monumental enema for small town

Article from:

By staff writers

July 03, 2008 08:44am

A TOWN in southern Russia has erected a monument in the shape of an enema to celebrate the famous medical procedure.

The bronze syringe bulb sculpture held by three angels was unveiled in the city of Zheleznovodsk, a region known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Standing at 1.5m and weighing 400kg, the $44,000 sculpture was installed in a square in front of the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, with a banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas".

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," said spa director Alexander Kharchenko.

"An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The monument was designed with "irony and humour", said sculptor Svetlana Avakina, who modelled the angels on the works of Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

Ms Avakina hoped to promote the sculpture as a brand and turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she said.

Daily Telegraph 3-7-8

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23961658-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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2008-06-29T11:05:00.002+10:00

Manure thief falls into dung, flees naked

A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said.

Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen on Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.

"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."

Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs", but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.

"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station - unwashed," the spokesman added.

- Reuters

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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Wolf whistlers wish - woman whips off woollies

2008-05-22T12:48:00.002+10:00

Wolf whistlers wish - woman whips off woollies

Road workers in a small New Zealand town got their wish granted when a woman stripped, saying she was fed up with their wolf-whistles.

The Israeli tourist was about to use an ATM in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA) reported.

She calmly stripped off, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walking away.

The woman told police she did not take too kindly to the whistling from the men repairing the road.

"She said she had thought 'bugger them, I'll show them what I've got'," police Sergeant Peter Masters told NZPA.

"She gave the explanation that she had been ... pestered by New Zealand men. She's not an unattractive looking lady," Sgt Masters said.

"She was taken back to the police station and spoken to and told that was inappropriate in New Zealand."

- Reuters

ABC 22-5-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/22/2252372.htm

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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Bujinkan: Martial Arts of the Samurai and Ninja
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This week Chaweng Beach.

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Hump road sign slightly misleading

2008-05-06T22:05:00.001+10:00

Hump road sign slightly misleading

Article from:

May 06, 2008 03:29pm

A ROAD sign depicting two people in a passionate embrace above the word "hump" has angered VicRoads.

The sign is believed to be the work of a mysterious artist in Langwarrin, south of Melbourne.

Motorists have reported seeing other fake road signs along Cranbourne-Frankston Rd, Langwarrin, according to the Frankston Leader.

VicRoads regional director Steve Brown said the stunt was illegal and unsafe.

Daily Telegraph 6-5-8

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23654529-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "

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This week Chaweng Beach.

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Monk caught with 230 porn films in monastery: report

2008-03-07T18:24:00.002+11:00

Monk caught with 230 porn films in monastery: report

A Benedictine monk has been caught with around 230 pornographic films in his room in a monastery in western Germany, the local Abendzeitung newspaper reported on Thursday.

The discovery was made after the monk was caught trying to steal four gay pornography DVDs from a sex shop in the Bavarian city of Wuerzburg in southern Germany.

After an assistant caught him stealing the films, the 49 year-old fled, throwing his loot in a rubbish bin before being caught by police.

The monk lives at the 900-year-old Maria Laach Abbey in Rhineland-Palatinate.

ABC 7-3-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/07/2183201.htm

. . . . . .

" A meeting consists of a group of people who have little to say - until after the meeting. -P.K. Shaw "

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This week Careel Bay.

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Cemetery full, French Mayor tells locals not to die

2008-03-06T16:49:00.002+11:00

Cemetery full, French Mayor tells locals not to die

The Mayor of a village in south-west France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish".

It added: "Offenders will be severely punished".

The Mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.

Mr Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month's local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

"It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me," he said.

- Reuters

ABC 6-3-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/06/2181533.htm

. . . . . .

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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This week Careel Bay.

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Moses high on Mt Sinai: Israeli study

2008-03-05T22:59:00.001+11:00

Moses high on Mt Sinai: Israeli study

Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.

Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.

"As far as Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don't believe, or a legend, which I don't believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics," Dr Shanon told Israeli public radio.

Dr Shanon, who says he himself has dabbled with such substances, says Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the "burning bush".

"The Bible says people see sounds, and that is a classic phenomenon," he said, citing the example of religious ceremonies in the Amazon in which drugs are used that induce people to "see music."

He mentioned his own experience when he used ayahuasca, a powerful psychotropic plant, during a religious ceremony in Brazil's Amazon forest in 1991.

"I experienced visions that had spiritual-religious connotations," he said.

He said the psychedelic effects of ayahuasca were comparable to those produced by concoctions based on bark of the acacia tree, that is frequently mentioned in the Bible.

- AFP

ABC 5-3-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/04/2179961.htm

Read the comments on the article, some are hilarious!

. . . . . .

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Penis artist tries again in Archibald

2008-02-20T21:34:00.002+11:00

Penis artist tries again in Archibald

Article from: AAP

February 20, 2008 06:32pm

A CHEEKY artist who uses his penis as a brush has entered a racy self-portrait for Australia's top art prize.

Australian Tim Patch, who calls himself Pricasso, usually exposes his talents at sex product fairs around the world, but has decided to go upmarket by entering a painting for the Archibald Prize - the nation's top award for portraiture.

In a unique painting style, Patch does not use paint brushes, but his penis to apply paint to the canvas.

"I had to use my bum to paint in the background, because you have to have the occasional break," Patch said to the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper today.

Patch entered a painting of a plastic surgeon in last year's Archibald Prize, but failed to impress the judges.

This year's entry depicts a nude Patch, wearing only a hat, holding a blank canvas to hide his "brush".

The Art Gallery of New South Wales in Sydney expects up to 700 portraits to be entered for the 2008 Archibald Prize, with the finalists to be announced in March.

Daily Telegraph 20-2-8

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23246990-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

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2007-12-25T18:13:00.000+11:00

'Silent' Xmas song climbs the NZ music charts

By New Zealand correspondent Peter Lewis

An unusual music CD has made it to the big time in New Zealand this Christmas.

It is two decades since Sir Bob Geldof and the Band Aid team first posed the question, "Do they know it's Christmas time at all?"

This year it got New Zealand's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals thinking.

So they recorded a CD single, 'A Very Silent Night', as a fundraiser and a timely reminder for people to share the Christmas spirit with their pets.

But if you happen to catch a snippet of it, do not try to adjust the volume - because you will not hear it.

The song was recorded at very high frequencies so only a dog can hear it, and it struck such a chord with animal lovers that they have pushed it to number three on the singles charts.

ABC 25-12-7

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/12/25/2127127.htm

. . . . . .

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2007-12-14T23:15:00.001+11:00

Puppy latches on to urinating man's member

By staff writers

December 14, 2007 07:44pm

A DRUNKEN man urinating through a fence got a nasty surprise when a playful puppy in the adjoining lot latched onto his member.

Kann Veasna took a break from drinking wine at a street stall to relieve himself through a hole in a fence, according to news agency DPA.

However a puppy spotted the Mr Veasna's appendage as it poked through and apparently thinking it was a toy latched on, newspaper Rasmei Kampuchea reported.

Suffering lacerations Mr Veasna fronted up to a hospital in Phnom Penh for treatment and was forced to tell the embarrassing story of injuries.

"It's undoubtedly sore now, but luckily it should still be useful to him in the future,'' a doctor was quoted as saying by DPA.

Daily Telegraph 14-12-7

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22925782-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

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Salzburg shoppers to put husbands in 'creche'

2007-12-01T17:55:00.001+11:00

Salzburg shoppers to put husbands in 'creche'

Posted Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:00pm AEDT

Women in the Austrian city of Salzburg will this year again be able to pursue their shopping with abandon over the Christmas period, free from sourpuss boyfriends and husbands.

For the second year in a row, a 'creche' will be set up in the town centre where women can leave their partners for a few hours so that they can hunt down all those last-minute presents, without a bored and whingeing spouse.

In a large white tent set up on Salzburg's central Herbert-von-Karajan square, the men will be able to play computer games, leaf through newspapers or magazines or simply have a drink at the bar with co-suffering "shopping widowers".

From December 13 to 23, women can "surrender" their partners at the tent's entrance free of charge between 4:00pm and 10:00pm (local time).

They are given a numbered ticket which they then have to present on their return to collect their spouse.

Salzburg toymaker Andreas Stadlbauer came up with the idea of a so-called "Maennerhort" or "men's creche" last year.

It proved such a success - with about 1,500 men found refuge there from the shopaholic tendencies of their 'better half' - that he decided to repeat the venture again this year.

Indeed, Mr Stadlbauer has even patented the name "Maennerhort".

And with big-name corporate sponsors, he is planning to set up similar creches in Vienna, Hamburg and Munich.

In Germany, where men have a reputation of being particularly averse to shopping, the creches might even operate all year around, the entrepreneur suggested.

- AFP

ABC 1-12-7

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2007/11/30/2106812.htm

. . . . . .

WARNING: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.

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Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis

2007-08-22T22:06:00.001+10:00

Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis

Article from: Reuters

From correspondents in Moscow

August 22, 2007 07:01pm

A WOMAN set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said today.

Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict".

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation.

The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.

"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper.

"I was burning like a torch. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

Daily Telegraph 22-8-7

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22289561-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

" If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee "

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'Too sexy for my bus', German woman told

2007-07-16T22:36:00.000+10:00

'Too sexy for my bus', German woman told

July 16, 2007 - 8:54PM

A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy.

"Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C told Bild newspaper.

"He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus.'"

The woman, pictured in Bild wearing her snug-fitting summer outfit with the plunging neckline, said she moved to another seat but was humiliated by the bus driver.

A spokesman for the bus company defended the driver.

"The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing," the spokesman said.

"A bus driver cannot be distracted because it's a danger to the safety of all the passengers."

© 2007 Reuters

SMH 16-7-7

http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Too-sexy-for-my-bus-German-woman-told/2007/07/16/1184559702793.html

. . . . . .

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Dolphin voyeurs kill the mood for saucy submariners

2007-07-16T18:22:00.001+10:00

Dolphin voyeurs kill the mood for saucy submariners

Monday Jul 16 14:00 AEST

By ninemsn staff

Some of the world's richest people are reportedly using their private submarines to indulge in deep-sea sex in front of panoramic marine vistas.

But these aquatic trysts are sometimes interrupted by groups of voyeuristic dolphins, which excitedly tap on windows with their beaks.

One of the world's top designers of luxury subs, US Submarines president Bruce Jones, told Bloomberg that dolphins were a problem for the amorous owners of his multi-million dollar vessels.

"Dolphins are easily excited when they sense people making love. They get jealous and bang their noses against the window," Mr Jones said.

The best solution was to block the dolphins out with a set of curtains, he said.

Another top designer, Herve Jaubert of Dubai-based Exomos, told Bloomberg his clients wrestled "with how to conduct a deep-sea love affair in front of an observation window without creating an underwater paparazzi".

Around 100 luxury submarines are believed to be submerged in the world's oceans, but it is not known who owns the majority of these undersea palaces.

Russian billionaire Chelsea Football Club owner Roman Abramovich has a submarine, as does Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen.

NMSN 16-7-7

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=278856

. . . . . .

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Exploding a fair few wordy myths

2007-07-09T23:10:00.001+10:00

Exploding a fair few wordy myths

July 9, 2007

AFTER recent comments from Defence Minister Brendan Nelson, debate is raging over whether America and Australia went to war in Iraq because of oil.

This is absurd. Nobody was more surprised to discover that Iraq had oil than the Allies. Goodness, with all that fuel around, it was just as well that those weapons of mass destruction were only prevented from exploding by the fact that they didn't exist. Otherwise, the whole country could have gone up in flames. Oh, wait a minute Anyway, here are some ideas that should probably be blown up.

Carbon trading. If a tree falls in the forest and no one gets a tax credit, did it really fall? An important philosophical question.

Coles sale. As Coles senior executives and directors prepare to accept their payouts, we should all feel reassured that you don't necessarily have to be marvellously good at your job to become wealthy. A comfort to us all. Well, maybe not Coles staff.

Credit card brand. Something that must look good in bankruptcy court.

Foreign policy. Many say that Australian foreign policy is little more than empty posturing. They could not be more wrong. Most Australian foreign policy is full of it.

Leader. A person who, when faced with daunting challenges, knows exactly what to do. Blame his predecessor.

Minimum wage rises. Something that is appallingly inflationary because workers insist on spending it all. Unlike increases to executive salaries, which are not inflationary because, cleverly, they are so big nobody can spend it all.

Peak oil. The allegation that oil production has reached its peak, and will start to decline. Impossible to confirm, because we are only allowed a peek.

David James is Leadership editor of BRW magazine and author of The Business Devil's Dictionary.

The Age 9-7-7

http://www.theage.com.au/news/business/exploding-a-fair-few-wordy-myths/2007/07/08/1183833344246.html

. . . . . .

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2007-06-08T12:08:00.001+10:00

Charges dropped against woman who pulled faces at police dog

June 8, 2007 - 9:12AM

A US prosecutor dropped charges against a woman who was arrested for staring at and making faces at a police dog.

Jayna Hutchinson was about to go on trial this week on charges of cruelty to a police animal and resisting arrest, but the case was dropped on Tuesday.

"I think it was going to be difficult to prove her conduct changed the dog's behavior," Orange County State's Attorney Will Porter said. "Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that."

Hutchinson, 33, of Lebanon, New Hampshire, was charged in July when police were called to a market to investigate a report of a brawl.

They were approached by Hutchinson, who said she had been assaulted the day before by one of the men involved and wanted to make a statement. Vermont State Police Sgt Todd Protzman told her she seemed drunk and he would take a statement from her later.

After a heated exchange, she approached Protzman's cruiser, where his dog, Max, was waiting. She put her face within centimetres of the window and stared at Max "in a taunting/harassing manner", Protzman wrote in an affidavit.

Officers arrested Hutchinson, adding a resisting arrest charge because she pulled away from them.

"Prosecuting a woman for 'staring' at a police dog is absurd," said her lawyer, public defender Kelly Green. "People are allowed to make faces at police dogs and officers to express their disapproval. It's constitutional expression."

Without the cruelty charge, jurors would be unlikely to convict her on the resisting arrest count, Porter said.

AP

SMH 8-6-7

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/charges-dropped-against-woman-who-pulled-faces-at-police-dog/2007/06/08/1181089278109.html

. . . . . .

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Spoke just had a headache

2007-06-08T12:05:00.000+10:00

Patient sheds green blood in emergency operation

June 8, 2007 - 10:18AM

Canadian doctors say an emergency operation in Vancouver has turned into a scene from the X-files when the patient started shedding green blood.

But tests show the 42-year-old man isn't a visiting alien, but was suffering from a rare blood condition.

Reporting in The Lancet medical journal doctors say the patient was being operated on for restricted blood flow in his lower legs after falling asleep in a sitting position.

But surgeons were startled by his dark greenish-black blood.

It's apparently been caused by sulphur in the patient's migraine medication being absorbed into his red blood cells.

AAP

SMH 8-6-7

http://www.smh.com.au/news/science/patient-sheds-green-blood-in-emergency-operation/2007/06/08/1181089281521.html

. . . . . .

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2007-06-01T15:09:00.001+10:00

Cop shoots colleague in safety demo

From correspondents in London

The 1st of June, 2007 12:00
Article from: Agence France-Presse

A POLICE marksman accidentally shot a colleague - during a firearms safety lecture, British media reported today.

The wounded man was in a serious but stable condition in a hospital in Oxford, southern England, The Times said.

New control room operators for Thames Valley Police were being given a training lecture on how the force's firearms team operates by one of its officers, the Daily Mail said.

"For some reason, the gun he was using to demonstrate the weapons they use was loaded and as the group was listening intently, a shot rang out and one of them was shot in the stomach from fairly close range,'' a police source told the tabloid.

"There was a lot of blood as a result of the shooting and pandemonium broke out.''

The officer, who said he did not know the gun was loaded, has been suspended from the firearms unit, The Sun said.

"The question uppermost in everyone's mind is why on earth the gun was loaded when it was being used during a demonstration in a classroom,'' a police source told The Times.

The Independent Police Complaints Commission will investigate the incident.

Daily Telegraph 1-6-7

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21831378-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

. . . . . .

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Indian motorists complain about 'elephant toll'

2007-05-30T22:42:00.001+10:00

Wednesday, the 30th of May 2007. 4:43pm (AEST)

Indian motorists complain about 'elephant toll'

An elephant in eastern India has sparked complaints from motorists who accuse it of blocking traffic and refusing to allow vehicles to pass unless drivers give it food.

The Hindustan Times says the elephant was scouting for food on a highway in the eastern state of Orissa, forcing motorists to roll down their windows and get out of the car.

Local resident Prabodh Mohanty has come across the elephant twice.

"The tusker [an elephant with tusks] then inserts its trunk inside the vehicle and sniffs for food," he said.

"If you are carrying vegetables and bananas inside your vehicle, then it will gulp them and allow you to go."

If a commuter does not wind down his or her window, or resists opening the vehicle door, the elephant stands in front of the car until the driver allows the animal to carry out his routine inspection.

- Reuters

ABC 30-5-7

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200705/s1938091.htm

. . . . . .

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2007-04-03T21:37:00.001+10:00

Pit bull dog owner bites policeman

From correspondents in Lisbon

The 3rd of April 2007 12:00
Article from: Agence France-Presse

THE owner of a pit bull bit a policeman after his dog ran away during a confrontation with officers, daily Diario de Noticias reported today.

Two policemen stopped the dog owner for walking the animal without a leash and a muzzle on Sunday in Cova da Moura a poor neighbourhood on the outskirts of Lisbon.

The man threatened the officers with his dog, but the animal bolted leaving the 35-year-old to to grapple with both policemen.

The owner bit one of the policemen on the wrist while the other suffered a broken finger in the scuffles, the newspaper reported.

The owner is under house arrest while police are still looking for the pit bull, according to the daily.

Portuguese authorities are cracking down on what they call "dangerous" dogs after four rottweilers mauled a 60-year-old woman to death last month.

While not necessarily dangerous, pit bulls are sometimes used by gang members to intimidate and in dog fights.

. . . . . .

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2007-03-10T14:46:00.001+11:00

German man chainsaws house in two in divorce split

Saturday, The 10th of March 2007. 8:29am (AEDT)

A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg say the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house, which was some eight metres long and six metres wide, before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman.

"But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

- Reuters

ABC 10-3-7

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200703/s1868327.htm

. . . . . .

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Snorkeler mistaken for rodent gets shot in face

2007-02-12T16:49:00.001+11:00

Snorkeler mistaken for rodent gets shot in face

February 12, 2007 - 10:03AM

A snorkeler in the US who was shot in the face after he was apparently mistaken for a swimming rodent is in good condition after surgery, a hospital says.

John William Cheesman, 44, from Oregon, underwent eight hours of surgery on Thursday to remove bullet and bone fragments from his face, said his wife, Shelley Cheesman.

"He's doing really well," Shelley Cheesman said.

"The bullet hit in front of his right ear, where the bone is the most dense. It just fragmented and didn't go into his brain."

William Roderick, 60, has been charged with assault, being a felon in possession of a firearm, and possession of methamphetamine and marijuana. He was being held in the county jail.

Roderick told deputies he thought Cheesman was a nutria swimming in the Smith River near Reedsport, about 90 miles southwest of Eugene, and shot him with a .22-calibre rifle, police said.

A nutria is a water-dwelling South American rodent species that is larger than a muskrat but smaller than a beaver.

It was introduced to US waters in the 1940s, according the National Wildlife Federation.

Cheesman, an avid diver, was in the river looking at different species of fish, his wife said.

He swam to the river bank and yelled for help.

Roderick and another man came to Cheesman's aid in a boat, called 911 and drove him to an ambulance.

"I do give him credit for helping him," Shelley Cheesman said of Roderick.

AP

SMH 12-2-7

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/man-mistaken-for-rodent/2007/02/12/1171128848431.html?s_cid=rss_smh

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2007-01-06T18:09:00.001+11:00

Wash clothes, not body, wacky warning advises

Saturday, the 6th of January 2007. 4:20pm (AEDT)

Wacky warning ... DO NOT put any person in this washer. (Image: M-LAW)

A warning label advising against climbing into a washing machine has won the 10th annual Wacky Warning Label contest.

The contest, run by American lobby group the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, aims to "reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products".

The winning label, on a laundromat washing machine, advises: "Do not put any person in this washer".

Second place went to a motor manufacturer who warned "Never use a lit match to check fuel level."

Other winners included a lotto ticket advising "do not iron", an instruction on a mobile phone saying "Don't try to dry your phone in a microwave oven" and this warning on a Yellow Pages: "Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle".

ABC 6-1-7

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200701/s1822437.htm

. . . . . .

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Baby put through airport X-ray

2006-12-22T10:32:00.001+11:00

Baby put through airport X-ray

December 21, 2006 - 9:48AM

A woman mistakenly put her one-month-old grandson through an X-ray machine at Los Angeles International Airport, authorities said.

A startled security worker noticed the shape of a child on the carry-on baggage screening monitor and immediately pulled him out, the Los Angeles Times reported for a story in Wednesday's editions.

The infant was taken to a local hospital, where doctors determined he did not receive a dangerous dose of radiation.

"This was an innocent mistake by an obviously inexperienced traveller," said Paul Haney, deputy executive director of airports and security for the city's airport agency.

The incident happened early on Saturday, airport officials said.

Haney said in 1988, an infant in a car seat went through an X-ray machine at the Los Angeles airport.

AP

SMH 22-12-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/babys-xray-screen/2006/12/21/1166290649154.html

. . . . . .

" The committee finds Mr Scrafton's claim that he told the Prime Minister on November 7 2001 there was no evidence to substantiate the children overboard story is credible, His claim is credible - the clear implication of his evidence is that the Prime Minister mislead the Australian public in the lead up to the 2001 election. -chairwoman Jacinta Collins "

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2006-12-07T09:45:00.000+11:00

Flatulent passenger grounds US flight

Thursday, The 7th of December 2006. 9:00am (AEDT)

It may be one problem US airline security officials never envisioned - a passenger lighting matches in flight to mask odours from her flatulence.

The woman's actions resulted in an emergency landing in Nashville of an American Airlines flight bound for Dallas from Washington DC, a spokeswoman for Nashville's airport, Lynne Lowrance, says.

Other passengers reported the odour of burnt matches, but the woman was not forthcoming when asked about it, Ms Lowrance says.

"Of course, she was scared and embarrassed but all the passengers had to disembark, all the luggage had to be searched, a canine team was brought in, and about three hours were consumed in sorting out the situation," she said.

The woman was not allowed back on the flight and barred from flying on American Airlines, Ms Lowrance says.

"Since there was no malice involved and the incident was accidental, she was not charged with anything," she said.

Passengers are permitted four books of paper safety matches on a plane but cannot light them during flight, Ms Lowrance says.

"I've had calls from people all over the country about this and I don't have the answer to this problem," she said.

- Reuters

ABC 7-12-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200612/s1806055.htm

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US mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for playing with his Christmas present early

2006-12-06T15:19:00.001+11:00

Fed-up mum gets hyperactive son arrested

December 6, 2006 - 2:08PM

A fed-up US mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.

The mother in Columbia, South Carolina, called police on Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy hand-held video game player from its hiding place at his grandmother's house next door and played it.

He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the local police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church.

"It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin.

Police did not release the boy's name.

The mother said her son had been diagnosed in the past year with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but that his medicine does not seem to help.

She said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school tomorrow.

Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.

The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said.

His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.

"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it."

AP

SMH 6-12-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/technology/fedup-mum-gets-hyperactive-son-arrested/2006/12/06/1165081000210.html

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Bad Goofy gets it

2006-11-01T17:44:00.001+11:00

Bad Goofy gets it

October 16, 2006 - 11:03AM

The Walt Disney Co said it has taken "appropriate action" against employees at its Paris theme park who were caught simulating sex while dressed as Disney characters in a digital video that has received wide attention on the internet.

Disney would not say whether it had dismissed any of the costumed employees featured in the grainy video, which appears to have been shot with a hidden camera at a backstage dressing room at Disneyland Resort Paris.

"The behaviour shown on the video is unacceptable and inexcusable," Disney said in a statement.

"The video was taken in the backstage area not accessible to guests. Appropriate action has been taken to deal with the cast members involved."

The video shows Minnie Mouse struggling to free herself as she is grabbed from behind by Goofy and then a giant snowman.

Reuters

SMH 29-10-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/bad-goofy-gets-it/2006/10/16/1160850842310.html

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Navigation system directs driver into sand pile

2006-10-28T21:21:00.000+10:00

Navigation system directs driver into sand pile

Tuesday, The 10th of October 2006. 8:08pm (AEST)

An 80-year-old German motorist obediently following his navigation system has ignored a motorway "closed for construction" sign and crashed his Mercedes into a pile of sand further down the road.

"The driver was following the orders from his navigation system and even though there was a sufficient number of warnings and barricades, he continued his journey into the construction site," a police spokeswoman said.

"His trip finally ended when he wound up crashing into a pile of sand."

The driver and his wife escaped uninjured from the collision, which occurred on a motorway near Hamburg.

- Reuters

ABC 23-10-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200610/s1759214.htm

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2006-10-27T17:19:00.000+10:00

Jelly triggers German security alert

Tuesday, the 10th of October 2006. 9:49am (AEST)

A small pile of leftover jelly discarded beside the road after a wedding party caused a large-scale security alert in Germany with biochemical experts, firemen and police called in to investigate.

"Passers-by called police after finding a pool of a flabby red, orange and green substance on the roadside," a police spokesman in the eastern town of Halle said.

Fears of toxic waste led to the closure of a wide area after the emergency call on Sunday, and experts wearing chemical warfare suits spent two hours examining the gelatinous substance before deciding that it was jelly.

"The fire brigade always has to assume a worst-case scenario," a spokesman said.

"We conducted a variety of tests and figured out it was jelly."

He says the newly-wed groom, who was pulled out of bed at noon following a tip-off, confirmed that the jelly, known as Jell-O in the United States, was a party leftover and agreed to clean it up.

- Reuters

ABC 23-10-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200610/s1759367.htm

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2006-09-28T17:20:00.000+10:00

Man blames lack of goats for speeding

From correspondents in Ottawa

The 7th of September 2006 12:00
Article from: Agence France-Presse

A SWISS driver blamed Canada's lack of goats as possible roadside obstacles for his speeding through the countryside after police nabbed him, an official said.

The driver was caught travelling 161km/h on Canada's busiest highway between Montreal and Toronto on Sunday.

The posted speed limit is 100km/h.

�An officer stopped the car for speeding along a straight stretch of road and the driver told him he thought it would be alright to go fast because he wasn't likely to hit a goat,� said Constable Joel Doiron.

�I've never been to Switzerland, but I guess there must be a lot of goats there,� he said.

Const. Doiron noted that in his 20 years as a police officer, �nobody's ever used the lack of goats here as an excuse for speeding�.

Police issued the man a $C360 ($430) fine.

The Daily Telegraph 7-9-6

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,20368224-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

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2006-09-28T17:19:00.001+10:00

He may be a cutout, but he can still keep the kids in line

Brian Macquarrie in Boston
The 1st of September 2006

MEMBERS of the Maine National Guard in Afghanistan and Iraq have never been far from the thoughts of their loved ones - but now they're even closer, thanks to the "flat daddy" and the "flat mummy".

Life-size cutouts of deployed US service members are given by the Maine National Guard to spouses, children, and relatives at home to ride in cars, sit at the dinner table and even go to church. "I prop him up in a chair, or sometimes put him on the couch and cover him up with a blanket," said Kay Judkins, whose husband, Jim, is a minesweeper mechanic in Afghanistan.

"The cat will curl up on the blanket, and it looks kind of weird. I've tricked several people by that. They think he's home again."

At the request of relatives, about 200 photos of guard members have been enlarged and printed at the guard headquarters. The families cut out the photos, which show the guard members from the waist up, and glue them to a piece of board.

"It's a novel approach," said John Goheen, of the National Guard Association.

"It's to remind the kids that this guy and this woman is still part of your life, that this is what they look like, and this is how big they are."

Mrs Judkins said the cutout has been a comfort since her husband was deployed in January.

"He goes everywhere with me. Every day he comes to work with me," said Mrs Judkins, who works in a dentist's office.

"I just bought a new table , and he sits at the head of the table."

The Boston Globe

SMH 1-9-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/he-may-be-a-cutout-but-he-can-still-keep-the-kids-in-line/2006/08/31/1156817034662.html?from=rss

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2006-09-26T13:38:00.001+10:00

Peacock tries to pull chicks at petrol pumps

Sunday, the 18th of June 2006. 7:04am (AEST)

Mr P, a proud peacock fuelled with passion, is spending 18 hours a day strutting his stuff at a petrol station trying to turn on one of the pumps, British newspapers say.

The randy animal puts on a dazzling display of mating prowess at a service station in Brierly in south-west England for three months a year, in the vain hope of getting some high-octane action with the pumps.

But after three years of petrol station prowling, the bird-brained romeo's antics have been brought to the attention of the local authorities - who are now plotting to capture Mr P and put an end to his preening there.

Ornithologists reckon he is attracted by the clicking sound of the pumps, which resemble the mating calls of a broody peahen, The Times says.

His owner Shirley Horsman says "in spring he gets his tail feathers and he gets frisky, then he goes looking for love".

"He gets very amorous and the clicking of the petrol pumps makes the same noise as a peahen crying, 'Come on, I'm ready!'. Every time he hears someone filling up, he thinks he's on to a good thing.

"It must be so hard for him listening to these pumps giving him the come-on all day long but with no way of relieving that pent-up frustration."

His two brothers are similarly dimwitted when it comes to love.

One appears to have a crush on a cat while the other has been spotted attempting to mate with a garden light.

- AFP

ABC 17-6-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200606/s1665550.htm

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British art gallery displays slate as art

2006-09-26T13:36:00.000+10:00

British art gallery displays slate as art

Thursday, the 15th of June, 2006. 11:00pm (AEST)

One of Britain's most prestigious art galleries put a block of slate on display, topped by a small piece of wood, in the mistaken belief it was a work of art.

The Royal Academy included the chunk of stone and the small bone-shaped wooden stick in its summer exhibition in London.

But the slate was actually a plinth and the stick was designed to prop up a sculpture.

The sculpture itself - of a human head - was nowhere to be seen.

"I think the things got separated in the selection process and the selectors presented the plinth as a complete sculpture," the work's artist David Hensel told BBC radio.

The academy explained the error by saying the plinth and the head were sent to the exhibitors separately.

"Given their separate submission, the two parts were judged independently," it said in a statement.

"The head was rejected, the base was thought to have merit and accepted.

"The head has been safely stored ready to be collected by the artist.

"It is accepted that works may not be displayed in the way that the artist might have intended."

-Reuters

ABC 16-6-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200606/s1664310.htm

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2006-09-25T17:47:00.001+10:00

Beaten with dead chihuahua

The 9th of June 2006 - 10:35AM

A Missouri woman has been arrested for breaking into a dog breeder's home and beating her repeatedly over the head with a dead Chihuahua, local media reported.

She woman was upset because the puppy had died, police told the St Louis Post-Dispatch newspaper.

The woman said a veterinarian had told her the puppy she'd bought was just four weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother.

It died before she had a chance to do so and the woman went to the breeder's home in St Peters, Missouri about 5.45am (local time) yesterday.

She pushed her way into the house and tried to get to the basement to get another puppy. But after some hair-pulling, the breeder managed to wrestle the woman out of her house.

When she got outside she started hitting the breeder on the head with the dead puppy, drawing the attention of a neighbour who called police.

The woman then went back to her car but waved the dead dog out of the car's sunroof while yelling threats at the breeder, who did not seek medical attention, police said.

The dog owner could face burglary and assault charges police said.

AFP

SMH 9-6-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/beaten-with-dead-chihuahua/2006/06/09/1149359921189.html

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2006-09-25T17:42:00.001+10:00

Flatulence sets hospital on fire

The 14th of May 2006

A PATIENT'S flatulence has been blamed for bringing his hemorrhoid operation to a fiery end. The man suffered minor burns in a brief but dramatic operating theatre fire.

The patient was at the Southern Cross Hospital in Invercargill, New Zealand, to have hemorrhoids removed when the accident happened.

A hospital source said there was a sort of flash fire. The hospital confirmed a fire did occur, and has ordered an investigation.

SMH 14-5-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/flatulence-sets-hospital-on-fire/2006/05/13/1146940773212.html

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2006-09-25T17:41:00.000+10:00

Mother arrested for sending teacher laxative cookies

The 10th of May 2006 - 4:47PM

A US mother was arrested for allegedly helping her daughter and her friends make biscuits laced with a laxative for a teacher who had given one of the girls low marks.

The prank went wrong though when the targeted teacher didn't eat any but shared them among the daughter's seventh and eighth grade classmates.

Four children fell ill.

The mother Julie Hunt, 43, later appeared before a court in the state of Maine handcuffed and in prison garb.

She pleaded not guilty to assault charges, the Morning Sentinel reported on its website today.

The court was told the biscuits had been left on the desk of the teacher, along with a note saying: "We made these cookies just for you, hope you enjoy them."

AAP

SMH 11-5-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/mother-arrested-for-sending-teacher-laxative-cookies/2006/05/10/1146940602983.html

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2006-09-25T05:01:00.001+10:00

Housewife complains of medium's 'sexorcisms'

The 3rd of May 2006 - 12:33PM

A Malaysian housewife says a bogus spiritual medium duped her into having sex with him 51 times as the only way to exorcise her evil spirits.

The 41-year old woman, who sought the man's help after he claimed to be able to heal her from her numerous ailments, was allegedly told that she had many evil spirits in her, the Star daily reported today.

The medium, who claims to be the reincarnation of a God, allegedly hypnotised her into having sex with him a total of 51 times over a period of six months.

The victim was also told to pay up to 50 ringgit ($A17) for each "exorcism" session.

The woman's husband eventually discovered the sexual exorcism encounters and lodged a report with a local complaints bureau.

DPA

SMH 4-5-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/housewife-complains-of-mediums-sexorcisms/2006/05/03/1146335779816.html

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2006-09-25T04:58:00.001+10:00

Naked man found wedged in chimney

Wednesday, the 26th of April 2006. 8:17am (AEST)

Police in California, who had thought they had a botched burglary on their hands, have instead found a naked man wedged in its chimney.

"He didn't have a stitch on," Lieutenant Gary Branson of the Hayward police department said.

Michael Urbano, 23, came home early Saturday morning and finding himself locked out and without his keys, tried to enter the single-story house through its chimney.

"He told us he took off his clothes because as he was going down the chimney - the clothes would rub up against it and slow him down," Lt Branson said.

"If it was skin on cement he felt he would go down easier."

Mr Urbano's effort ended disastrously when a cable television wire he used to lower himself snapped.

He fell and was wedged in a section of the chimney tapering into the home's fireplace.

For the next four hours he cried out for help.

A neighbour called police and firefighters who dislodged Mr Urbano.

Lt Branson says officers charged Mr Urbano for being under the influence of drugs.

- Reuters

ABC 26-4-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200604/s1623700.htm

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2006-09-25T04:57:00.001+10:00

Fake doc arrested for door-to-door breast checks

The 21st of April 2006 - 10:41AM

A 76-year-old man claiming to be a doctor went door-to-door in a Florida neighborhood offering free breast exams, and was charged with sexually assaulting two women who accepted the offer, say police.

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

The woman then phoned the Broward County Sheriff's Office and the suspect fled.

He was arrested at another woman's apartment in the same Lauderdale Lakes neighborhood on Wednesday, a sheriff's spokesman said.

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," sheriff's spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

Reuters

SMH 22-4-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/fake-doc-arrested-for-doortodoor-breast-checks/2006/04/21/1145344250458.html

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2006-09-25T04:55:00.001+10:00

Sandwich to cater for upper crust

Sunday, The 9th of , 2006. 10:18pm (AEST)

A new gourmet sandwich is to go on sale at an upmarket London store on Monday - but at a cost of 85 pounds ($A203), it could be too much to swallow for hungry shoppers.

The cheekily-named McDonald sandwich - after its creator Scott McDonald, the executive chef of department store Selfridges on Oxford Street - earns its whopping price tag because of the Wagyu beef that makes up most of the filling.

According to the Sunday Telegraph, which had a taste of the expensive delicacy, the 595-gram sandwich comprises 24-hour fermented sour dough bread, spread with a foie gras-flavoured mayonnaise.

It also contains Brie de Meaux, considered one of Europe's finest cheeses, English cherry tomatoes and rocket, plus roasted peppers.

"Utterly fantastic mixture of tastes," one of Britain's leading chefs, Giorgio Locatelli, told the newspaper through a mouthful of the sandwich.

"Tangy, sweet... a monster mouthful that would be a really sexy love food to share with a lover. The beef simply melts, it falls apart. I'm impressed."

The newspaper said five orders had been taken so far in advance of the sandwich going on sale.

- AFP

ABC 9-4-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200604/s1612108.htm

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2006-09-23T17:24:00.002+10:00

Ding dong battle over dead dog's bark

The 24th of March 24, 2006

A Dutch council has for the second time levied a dog tax on a family for their barking doorbell.

The Bruintjes family have chosen a ring for their computer-controlled doorbell that mimics their dead German shepherd.

Council officials of the town of Oldenzaal near the German border came to the conclusion there was an unregistered dog in the house after ringing the bell while the family was out.

"Last year we had great difficulty convincing the inspector that we did not have a dog, and now we are back in the same situation again," Gerrit Bruintjes said.

He said his wife had returned home to find a warning in the letter box.

"She was able to catch up with the inspector at the end of the street, and after much to-ing and fro-ing was able finally to convince him," Bruintjes said.

The family have no intention of changing their doorbell.

"It is and will remain a memento of our dead dog," Bruintjes said.

DPA

SMH 24-3-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/ding-dong-battle-over-dead-dogs-bark/2006/03/23/1143083901898.html

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2006-09-23T17:24:00.001+10:00

Indonesian city outlaws lengthy pashes

Friday, The 7th of April 2006. 4:38pm (AEST)

Unrelated people who kiss each other on the lips for longer than five minutes in public will be arrested in the Indonesian city of Tangerang, local media say.

The Government in Tangerang, near Jakarta, has defended the regulation as a practical guideline for its officers to follow up on tough and heavily-criticised anti-prostitution laws, passed last year.

"Please do not dramatise this," Tangerang public order spokesman Ahmad Lutfi said.

"We will not arrest people at will as we are not oppressors."

Mr Lutfi has declined to comment on whether officers will be armed with stopwatches, the Koran Tempo newspaper says.

It is unclear if the guideline refers to an uninterrupted five-minute kiss.

Kissing in public is generally frowned upon in Indonesia, especially in rural, predominantly Muslim areas, but giving a time limit for such behaviour is unheard of.

Around 85 per cent of Indonesia's 220 million people follow Islam, giving the sprawling archipelago the largest number of Muslims of any country.

Although most are moderates, there is a growing tendency toward showing Islamic identity and conservative attitudes.

That backdrop, along with the recent devolution of power to regional governments, has given several regions space to create tighter rules on morality.

- Reuters

ABC 7-4-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200604/s1611392.htm

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2006-09-23T17:19:00.000+10:00

Quest for immortality ends as freezer gives up ghost

By Angelique Chrisafis in Paris

The 18th of March , 2006

RAYMOND MARTINOT and his wife were the toast of the world cryonics movement. For years they were France's best preserved corpses, lying in a freezer in a chateau in the Loire Valley, in the hope that modern science could one day bring them back to life.

But the French couple's journey into the future ended prematurely when, 22 years after his mother's body was put into cold store, their son discovered the freezer unit had broken down and they had started to thaw.

The couple's bodies were removed from the faulty freezer and cremated this week. Under French law a corpse must be buried, cremated or formally donated to science. But the couple's son had vowed to go to the European Court of Human Rights to be allowed to keep his frozen parents in his cellar. If he failed, supporters in Colorado had offered to take them.

On Thursday Remy Martinot said he had no choice but to cremate his parents' bodies after the technical fault caused their temperatures to rise above the constant level required, -65 degrees.

Raymond Martinot, a doctor who once taught medicine in Paris, spent decades preparing for his demise in the belief that if he was frozen and preserved scientists would be able to bring him back to life by 2050. In the 1970s he bought a chateau near Samur in the Loire Valley and began preparing a freezer unit for himself.

But his wife, Monique Leroy, died first, in 1984, and was the first to enter the intricate stainless steel freezer unit in the chateau's vaulted cellars. She remained in the freezer for almost 20 years while Dr Martinot met his high refrigeration bills by admitting paying visitors to the cellar.

He said he opened the freezer to check it every five years. The freezer was rigged up to a generator with an alarm to alert Dr Martinot to changes in temperature or anyone opening it.

In 2002 Dr Martinot died of a stroke, aged 84, and his son followed his orders to inject him with the same anti-coagulants and store him alongside.

The Guardian

SMH 18-3-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/quest-for-immortality-ends-as-freezer-gives-up-ghost/2006/03/17/1142582522251.html

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2006-09-23T17:16:00.000+10:00

Waiter, waiter, there's a penis in my hotpot

Friday, the 10th of March 2006. 8:05am (AEDT)

China's exotic food industry has a new addition, a restaurant that specialises in animal extremities.

China's increased wealth has brought a growing demand for exotic delicacies.

A new Beijing restaurant is serving up traditional hotpot with a difference.

Customers can choose from more than 30 kinds of penis - including yak, donkey, dog, ox or even seal.

Although a meal can cost more than $500, the restaurant still boasts a loyal clientele.

Eating penis is said to improve everything from male virility to skin tone.

The new delicacy joins old Chinese favourites such as frog, silkworm, scorpion, dog and snake.

ABC 10-3-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200603/s1588255.htm

. . . . . .

Confucius say: Woman who cook beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary

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2006-09-21T18:30:00.001+10:00

Wannabe rocker plunges from bed to death

February 22, 2006 - 3:54PM

A teenager got so carried away while bouncing up and down on his bed mimicking a rock star that he flew out of a third floor window to his death, a Singapore newspaper reports.

Li Xiao Meng, a 16-year-old from China who was studying at Singapore's Hua Business School, was a keen musician who liked to jump up and down while playing his guitar in his hostel room, The Straits Times said.

"But on November 17 he took things a bit too far," the newspaper said, reporting on a coroner's court findings.

Ruling death by misadventure, the court said evidence "points to the deceased unintentionally falling out of the window to his death when he was hyped up with exhilaration, jumping up and down on the bed placed against an open window while mimicking a rock guitarist".

Normally the windows were locked, the newspaper said, but students sometimes forced them open so they could smoke, something prohibited by the hostel.

© 2006 AAP

SMH 22-2-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/World/Wannabe-rocker-plunges-from-bed-to-death/2006/02/22/1140563843432.html

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2006-09-21T18:28:00.002+10:00

Members only, but diners don't find it hard to swallow

By Richard Spencer in Beijing
February 18, 2006

THE menu at Beijing's latest venue for its growing army of gourmets is eye-watering rather than mouth-watering.

China's cuisine is renowned for being "in your face" - from the skinned dogs at food markets to scorpion kebabs in street stalls - and there is no polite way of describing Guolizhuang.

Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West Lake, it is China's first speciality penis restaurant.

Here, businessmen and government officials can sample the organs of yaks, donkeys, oxen and even seals. In fact, they have to, since they form part of every dish - except for those containing testicles.

"This is my third visit," said one customer, Liu Qiang. "Of course, there are other restaurants that serve the bian [penis] of individual animals. But this is the first that brings them all together."

Since it set up in November, a booking comes with a trained waitress and a nutritionist to explain the menu and its medicinal virtues.

In China, you are what you eat. Nutritionist Zhu Yan said the clients were mainly men eager to improve their yang, or virility. Women could benefit, too, she added, although she told a female photographer: "I wouldn't recommend the testicles. The testosterone might interfere in fertility. But many women say bian is good for the skin."

Some dishes seem unexceptional, such as the goat penis, sliced, dipped in flour, fried, and served skewered with soy sauce.

But others are showpieces, such as "Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet" (provided by horses from the western Muslim region of Xinjiang), for $A47, or "Dragon in the Flame of Desire" (yak, steamed whole, fried and flambeed) for $82.

For beginners, Ms Zhu recommended the hotpot, which offers a sampling of six types of penis, and four of testicle, boiled in chicken stock by the waitress, 22-year-old Liu Yunyang.

The Russian dog was first. It was julienned, and rather gamey. The ox was the most recognisable, even though it had been diced. Its texture seemed identical to gristle.

The deer and the Mongolian goat were surprisingly similar: a little stringy, they had the appearance and feel of overcooked squid tentacles. The Xinjiang horse and the donkey looked like bacon, the horse was light and fatty, while the donkey had a firm colour and taste. The testicles were slightly crumbly, and tasted better with lashings of the sesame, soy and chilli dips thoughtfully provided.

Canadian seal penis costs a hefty $517 and requires ordering in advance.

Ms Liu confessed that the restaurant was an unusual place to work. This is partly because of her training - she has to recite tales proving the vigour of the animals in question as they are being eaten - and partly because of the interaction with the clientele. "I did find it embarrassing at first," she said. "And sometimes the customers take advantage of me by asking rude questions."

As for health benefits, Mr Liu, the most regular customer, was uncertain but hopeful. "I can't say I've noticed any difference yet," he said. "But it's a long-term thing."

Telegraph, London

SMH 18-2-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/members-only-but-diners-dont-find-it-hard-to-swallow/2006/02/17/1140151815948.html

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2006-09-21T18:28:00.001+10:00

Sheep worrier 'not a sex offender'

Battle Creek, Michigan
February 15, 2006 - 1:48PM

A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not be registered as a sex offender.

Jeffrey Haynes, 42, said the state registry is intended to keep track of people who have committed crimes against humans.

"The prosecutor is being real hard on me for what I did," Haynes said.

"But I should not be treated as a child molester."

Police said Haynes had sex with a sheep at a Bedford Township farm on January 26, 2005. The animal's owner caught him on the property and the sheep was found injured.

Calhoun County Circuit Court Judge Conrad Sindt told Haynes at his sentencing hearing on Monday that once he is released from prison, he must register with the Michigan State Police Public Sex Offender Registry.

Haynes was sentenced to two-and-a-half years to 20 years in prison. He entered the no contest plea in January. A no contest plea is not an admission of guilt but is treated as such for sentencing purposes.

Tamara Towns, an assistant prosecutor for the county, argued Haynes should be ordered to register as a sex offender because once out of prison, he could prey on children or vulnerable adults.

Haynes said he is not a violent person and would not assault children.

A telephone call seeking comment was left on Tuesday at the Marshall office of defence lawyer John Sullivan.

Haynes was arrested in June after a DNA sample taken from the animal matched Haynes' genetic material.

Haynes has prior convictions for burglary, home invasion and uttering and publishing, and was on parole for burglary at the time of the sex crime.

- AP

The Age 15-2-6

http://theage.com.au/news/world/sheep-worrier-not-a-sex-offender/2006/02/15/1139890785543.html

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2006-09-20T17:58:00.001+10:00

Aussie jocks set for 'revitalisation'

The 3rd of February 2006 - 3:04PM

An Australian underwear company has produced a range of men's jocks that release residue into the skin to make the wearer feel "revitalised".

It is even looking at plans to develop underwear containing Viagra residue.

AussieBum's Essence range contains micro-capsules within the fabric fibres of either Acerola (Vitamin C) or Ginseng which have energising, regenerating properties.

"Basically you can put a substance and a residue within a micro-fibre fabric and that fabric will release the substance over a period of time," said aussieBum founder Sean Ashby.

"This particular product is going to give the guy a sensation and experience and men are getting more and more into body image and feeling good."

And Viagra underwear isn't far away, Ashby said.

"Someone said it as a joke but that made us think," he said.

"Imagine Viagra. Are people going to be crushing the vitamins? Who knows? But the concept is there."

The micro-fibre fabric was developed by Italian company Jersey Lomellina while the treatment residue was made by international company Bayer.

The residue remained in the underwear for up to 15 washes, Ashby said.

Essence was launched less then a month ago and already, aussieBum has sold more than 25,000 pairs.

The design has attracted a lot of interest in the United States and Europe, featuring in print and television programs such as Good Morning America.

New York Post journalist Philip Recchia tried the underwear.

"Moments after I snapped them on, I felt a cooling sensation not unlike the one you'd get from Vicks VapoRub - but without the wet greasy feeling," Recchio wrote.

AussieBum is manufactured in Australia with the business run completely out of the company's headquarters in the Sydney suburb of Leichhardt.

The brand is sold in some of the biggest department stores in the world including Selfridges and KaDeWe and is distributed to more than 70 countries via internet sales.

In Australia, aussieBum is sold mostly over the internet with the exception of one store in Byron Bay.

© 2006 AAP

SMH 3-2-6

http://smh.com.au/news/National/Aussie-jocks-set-for-revitalisation/2006/02/03/1138836413280.html

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2006-09-20T17:55:00.000+10:00

Scary hiccup cure's a killer

The 25th of January 2006 - 10:36AM

A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city of Barranquilla said today.

After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police said.

The incident took place on Sunday night while the two were having drinks with neighbours.

Galvan started to hiccup and Vargas, who works as a security guard, said he would use the home remedy for hiccups of scaring him.

He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Galvan and it accidentally went off, witnesses told local television.

"They were drinking, but they were aware of what was going on," one witness said.

Reuters

SMH 26-1-6

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/scary-hiccup-cures-a-killer/2006/01/25/1138066827142.html

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2006-09-20T17:52:00.001+10:00

Whale spew find may net $1m for family

Tuesday, the 24th of January 2006. 11:00am (AEDT)

A family on South Australia's west coast has discovered a rare specimen of whale vomit on the beach that is tipped to be worth over $1 million.

The specimen, known scientifically as ambergris, is sought after by perfume companies and worth about $US20 per gram.

The sample found on a beach near Streaky Bay weighs 14.75 kilograms.

Ken Jury, who is representing the family, says this is the first discovery of ambergris in South Australia.

He says the last specimen found in Australia was in Queensland.

"Two small pieces were found that I would suggest together would make up half the size of the one that's been found at Streaky Bay, and they realised something like $190,000 each," he said.

ABC 24-1-6

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200601/s1553872.htm

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2006-09-19T16:57:00.001+10:00

Good vibrations

By Louisa Hearn

The 10th of January 2006 - 3:49PM

If last year was the year of the iPod accessory, then 2006 is shaping up to be the year of the quirky spin-off, judging by the adults-only iBuzz that has just landed in Australia.

The $119.95 iBuzz is a new adult toy that hooks up directly to any MP3 music player and synchronises its vibrations to the beat and volume of the music.

Developed by UK company LoveLabs, the plug 'n' play device comes with a number of cables linking a small rectangular control device to an MP3, headphones and a variety of vibrating attachments.

LoveLabs is not the first company to create an add-on product aimed at capitalising on the success of Apple's iPod music player.

The new year also celebrated the arrival of thermal gloves from Tavo, designed to protect cold fingers so they can scroll through an iPod music collection.

Other iPod accessories include a Belkin microphone that turns the iPod into a voice recorder and iBeam technology from Griffin Technology that turns the music player into a laser pointer or flashlight.

SMH 11-1-5

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/01/10/1136863229124.html

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2006-09-19T16:56:00.001+10:00

Charred mouse burns house

The 9th of January 2006

A MOUSE has wreaked revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves - running ablaze back into the man's house and setting it alight.
Luciano Mares, 81, of New Mexico said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it, reports AP.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mr Mares told AP from a motel room.

The burning mouse ran beneath a window of the house and the flames quickly spread throughout the house.

All the home's contents were destroyed.

Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 21,000ha and destroyed 10 homes in south-eastern New Mexico in recent weeks.

"I've seen numerous house fires, but nothing as unique as this one," Fire Department Captain Jim Lyssy said.

News.com.au 9-1-6

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17767705-13762,00.html

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2006-09-19T16:55:00.001+10:00

'Nudity invalidates marriage'

The 9th of January 2006 - 10:30AM

An Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.

According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage".

The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream's popular religious talk show and on the front page of today's Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt's leading independent daily newspaper.

Suad Saleh, who heads the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.

During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: "Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy."

AFP

SMH 9-1-6

http://smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/nudity-invalidates-marriage/2006/01/09/1136655112299.html

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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
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2006-09-18T18:06:00.001+10:00

Why little girls like to torture Barbie

By Nick Foley in London
The 2oth of December 2005

IF you've caught your daughter mutilating her Barbie doll, microwaving her, or decapitating her, don't be disturbed - your girl is perfectly normal.

Research published yesterday reveals that as girls grow up, they come to hate Barbie so much that many admit torturing and maiming the doll. The toy has become a "hate figure" among seven to 11-year-old girls, who regard Barbie as a "babyish" symbol of their earlier childhood.

Researchers from the University of Bath questioned 100 youngsters about their attitudes to a range of branded products and found the iconic doll provoked the strongest reaction.

"When we asked the groups of junior school children about Barbie, the doll provoked rejection, hatred and violence," said Agnes Nairn, who led the study. "The meaning of Barbie went beyond an expressed antipathy; actual physical violence and torture towards the doll was repeatedly reported, quite gleefully, across age, school and gender."

Dr Nairn said: "It's as though disavowing Barbie is a rite of passage and a rejection of their past.

"The types of mutilation .. range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving."

The study also found that while boys expressed feelings of nostalgia towards Action Man, girls' attitude to Barbie was hostile.

"The girls almost always talked about having a box full of Barbies," Dr Nairn said. "So, to them, Barbie has come to symbolise excess. Barbies are not special, they are disposable, and are thrown away and rejected."

Press Association

SMH 20-12-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/a-figure-of-hate/2005/12/19/1134840796230.html

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2006-09-18T18:05:00.001+10:00

Ousted Santa of the Year hits back

The 19th of December 2005 - 9:54AM

The British Father Christmas who lost his Santa of the Year world crown has lashed out, citing a suspected campaign to stop him from winning again that has damaged Santa morale.

Ron Horniblew, 70, has been authorised by the Master Santa in Greenland and is part of the elite international Santa circuit who compete at the Santa Winter Games, where up to 50 Father Christmases jostle for the world title.

Estonian accordionist Aare Rebban grabbed the crown "amid dark mutterings of political voting, professional jealousy and backbiting", The Mail on Sunday newspaper reported in the UK.

At the Games in Gallivare in Swedish Lapland, Santas sled, race reindeer-drawn sleighs, eat porridge -- with a splash on the beard earning instant disqualification -- climb chimneys and deliver presents under the watchful gaze of a panel of judges.

Horniblew said it all came down to the reindeer sled race.

"You go up two at a time, head-to-head," he told The Mail on Sunday.

"I was up against the Estonian and I won the race. He actually fell off his sleigh. But he got awarded extra points for falling in a particularly Santa-like style.

"I was pretty miffed at that, I can tell you."

Horniblew revelled in his world title win the previous year but revealed just how tough it is at the top.

"We are all very serious. It's not a fun thing. These guys are all Santa Claus in their own right in their own countries," he said.

Indeed, Horniblew is deadly serious about Santa. Uniformed Santas must not smoke, drink alcohol, or swear.

To be accepted, a potential Father Christmas has to pass the official Santa Test by proving one's charity work or grotto experience.

"I've had it written into my wedding vows that I'll be out being Santa on Christmas Day," Horniblew said.

"When I die, I want my suit, with my authorised badge and Winter Games medals, to be draped over my coffin and my Santa boots sat on top."

AFP

SMH 20-12-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/ousted-santa-of-the-year-hits-back/2005/12/19/1134840767512.html

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2006-09-18T18:03:00.001+10:00

Santas run riot in Auckland

The 18th of December 2005 - 9:54AM

About 40 drunken Santas rioted in New Zealand's biggest city Auckland, robbing stores, toppling garbage bins, smashing bottles and assaulting security guards.

Wearing Santa Claus costumes, they rampaged yesterday afternoon through central city streets and vandalised a giant Christmas tree in the foyer of the Sky City Casino, the Herald on Sunday reported.

They were taking part in an organised example of "Santarchy", Alex Dyer told the paper, describing it as "a worldwide phenomenon designed to dismantle the commercialisation of Christmas".

Three men were arrested on charges of being drunk and disorderly, and two security guards needed medical treatment for cuts after being hit with beer bottles.

One storekeeper told the paper that the Santas walked into his shop, said "Merry Christmas" and then helped themselves to beer and soft drinks.

DPA

SMH 18-12-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/santas-run-riot-in-auckland/2005/12/18/1134840729462.html

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2006-09-17T15:43:00.001+10:00

Lying smoker gets the flick

The 4th of December 2005

A GERMAN company has sacked one of its employees for smoking at home.

Sandro Beier was dismissed from his job with a Berlin printing company after being photographed smoking in his back garden.

The company, Laserline, which runs a rigorous health and fitness program for its 100 staff, said Mr Beier, 42, had "defrauded" it by lying about his smoking habits.

It said Mr Beier had signed an agreement in which he stated he did not smoke. In return he received a monthly bonus of 100 ($156).

"He defrauded us of some 1200 a year," a company spokeswoman said.

"If someone steals from their company, it is normal that they are punished."

SMH 4-12-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/lying-smoker-gets-the-flick/2005/12/03/1133422148813.html

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2006-09-17T15:42:00.001+10:00

'Sexsomnia sufferer' cleared of rape

Thursday, the 1st of December 2005. 1:11pm (AEDT)

A Canadian man has been acquitted of raping a woman after the judge ruled that he was asleep during the attack.

Jan Luedecke and his alleged victim had both attended a party in 2003.

The woman fell asleep on the couch and when she awoke, she says she found Luedecke having sex with her.

He was charged with sexual assault, but at the trial, sleep experts and psychiatrists testified he suffered from sexsomnia.

Similar to sleepwalking, sexsomnia is when a person has sex while they are still asleep.

The judge accepted the argument.

The victim and women's groups are furious with the decision.

In 1996, a Canadian man was acquitted of killing his wife after it was determined he had been sleepwalking.

ABC 1-12-5

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200512/s1520797.htm

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2006-09-17T15:41:00.001+10:00

To have and to hold

The 1st of December 2005

AN IRANIAN man has been ordered by a divorce court to pay his former wife one gold coin a month in alimony for the next 10,000 years.

Under Iran's marriage law, couples sign a prenuptial agreement where the bride must stipulate the level of compensation she can demand during the marriage or in the event of separation.

In this case the woman, who was not named, had asked for $20 million worth of gold coins, Agence France-Presse reports. However, the court ruled the husband should pay her the coins in single monthly instalments.

SMH 1-12-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/to-have-and-to-hold/2005/11/30/1133311105939.html

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2006-09-16T17:24:00.001+10:00

Burn, baby, burn

the 22nd of November 2005

A Hong Kong health spa has added a spin to weight loss by literally setting its customers on fire. The Life of Life Healing Spa says it can trim down any body part with its fire treatment, where the client is massaged, smothered in Chinese herbs and wrapped in wet towels before being set alight, Agence France-Presse reports.

"It keeps you slim by detoxifying your body and by burning fat," the spa manager, Winnie Ng, told the South China Morning Post.

"We have someone standing by with a towel to put out the flames if they get too hot," said an assistant, Noel Ho.

SMH 22-11-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/burn-baby-burn/2005/11/21/1132421603833.html

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2006-09-16T17:23:00.001+10:00

Global village

The 19th of November 2005

Santas warned of pedophilia clause

Berlin: Swiss Santa Clauses have been banned from sitting children on their laps because of the risk that they might be accused of pedophilia. The Society of St Nicholases issued the ruling to its 100 professional members after parents expressed concern about close contact between their children and the men.

"We regret having to do this, but the public has become very sensitive about child abuse," the society said in a statement. - Telegraph, London.

Sparrow killed by domino effect

Amsterdam: The Dutch animal protection agency is investigating the killing of a sparrow that knocked over 23,000 dominoes during an attempt to set a world record. The common house sparrow - a species on the national endangered list - flew into the venue and almost derailed a world record attempt of toppling 4,321,000 blocks before it was shot by an exterminator with an air rifle.

Permits to kill such as bird are granted only when there is a danger to public health or a crop, an agency spokesman said. "Is it really necessary to kill a bird that knocked over a few dominoes for a game?" he said. - Associated Press

SMH 19-11-5

http://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/global-village/2005/11/18/1132016986947.html

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2006-09-16T17:20:00.002+10:00

Unhappy meal for elderly patrons

The 12th of November 2005

Amsterdam: A McDonald's restaurant in the Dutch town of Almere has banned a group of elderly patrons, saying they make too much noise. The newspaper Volkskrant reports that Jan van Keeken, 75, and a group of 10 to 15 friends of a similar age were ordered out.

"Some of us were perhaps talking a bit loudly, because some of the others are a bit deaf," Mr van Keeken said. - Deutsche Presse-Agentur

SMH 12-11-5

http://smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/unhappy-meal-for-elderly-patrons/2005/11/11/1131578234453.html

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2006-09-16T17:20:00.001+10:00

Vicarious acquisition

The 7th of November 2005

A US minister has been charged with selling his parsonage without his congregation's knowledge. Associated Press reports that the Reverend Randy Radic allegedly forged documents in 2002 to obtain the deed to the $US150,732 ($204,000) home in which he lived rent-free as pastor of the First Congressional Church in Ripon, California.

Police say he took out five loans on the property totalling $US370,000 ($501,000) then sold the home in December when he couldn't keep up with the payments. He had already been charged with selling the church itself for $US525,000.

SMH 7-11-5

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2006-09-14T17:37:00.001+10:00

Superglued genitals: she's stuck on you

The 4th of November 2005 - 1:46PM

A US man is suing his ex-girlfriend in for more than $40,600 for supergluing his genitals to his abdomen.

Kenneth Slaby of Greensburg, Pennsylvania, broke up with Gail O'Toole in 1999, after dating for 10 months.

Slaby then began dating someone else but, according to the lawsuit, O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep.

When he woke up, Slaby found that O'Toole had glued his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.

O'Toole allegedly told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk almost 2 kilometres to a petrol station to call for help.

"This was not just some petty domestic squabble," Slaby's lawyer Grey Pratt said.

O'Toole had pleaded guilty to misdemeanour assault and served six months' probation, but her ex-boyfriend is now suing for her damages.

Her lawyer, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged.

"This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom," he said.

AP

SMH 4-11-5

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2006-09-14T17:36:00.001+10:00

Dummy round-up

The 3rd of November 2005

Police in north-eastern Iran have begun a morality drive by confiscating alluring mannequins from clothes stalls in the bazaar, Reuters reports.

A spokesman for the judiciary in the city of Bojnourd said the campaign would tackle problems of "public chastity". He said 65 titillating mannequins had been impounded so far.

The spokesman explained that the crackdown on tailors' dummies was part of a larger offensive against anti-social behaviour such as vandalism and biker gangs. Bojnourd is near the Shiite holy city of Mashhad.

SMH 3-11-5

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2006-09-14T17:35:00.001+10:00

Let us eat goldfish

The 1st of November 2005

The First Assembly of God Church in Florence, Alabama, has agreed to discontinue its practice of asking teenagers to swallow live goldfish. A minister, Anthony Martin, said the goal was to teach the teenagers about fear.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals asked for a ban on the practice, Associated Press reports. The pastor, Greg Woodall, replied to the group in a letter: "I do appreciate your concern and just wanted to let you know that this will never happen again We love God's creatures and would never want to show them harm."

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2006-09-14T17:34:00.001+10:00

Foul message on MP's phone
October 29, 2005

An obscene voicemail greets callers to the parliamentary and electorate phone numbers for the Liberal MP for Hume, Alby Schultz.
In what may be an act of sabotage, the male voice says: "Hi, I'm the member of the Liberal National Party Coalition. My name is Mr Alby Schultz, and we are going to f--- you up the arse with our industrial relations changes. You should accept this and enjoy it because let's be honest, being f---ed up the arse isn't necessarily such a bad thing. Anyway, please feel free to leave a message after the beep. Goodbye."
Mr Schultz could not be contacted but a spokesman for the Minister for Workplace Relations, Kevin Andrews, said "it would be disgraceful if someone would stoop so low as to misrepresent the views of a federal Member of Parliament in such a foul manner".
Nadia Jamal

SMH 29-10-5

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2006-09-14T17:33:00.001+10:00

Much ado about profitable dog poo
Berlin: Authorities have issued what is believed to be the world's first industrial patent for a scientific procedure to convert dog poo into fuel briquettes and construction materials.
The Berlin man who filed the patent is confident he could be the first person in history to become rich from collecting dog droppings. "I could be sitting on a pile," says Karl-Friedrich Lentze, 57, an avant-garde artist who has filed for a patent with the European Patent Office. He markets the small chocolate brown briquettes under the brand name HuKo, derived from "hundekott", a polite German term, as opposed to "scheisse", used as a colourful expletive by pedestrians who step in hundekott. - Deutsche Presse-Agentur

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Letter of the law

2006-09-13T18:07:00.001+10:00

Letter of the law

The 27th of October , 2005

A Turkish court has fined 20 people for using the letters Q and W on placards at a Kurdish new year celebration, under a law banning characters not used in the Turkish alphabet.
Rights campaigners said the court in the city of Siirt fined each person for holding up the placards, written in Kurdish, at the event last year, Reuters reports. Q and W do not exist in the Turkish alphabet, but are used in Kurdish.
Pressed by the European Union, Turkey lifted bans on teaching and broadcasting in Kurdish in 2002, but bureaucratic resistance has delayed implementing the reforms.

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Sign away

2006-09-13T18:05:00.001+10:00

Sign away

The 24th of October 2005

A rapist in the town of Davie, Florida, who attacked a woman at gunpoint was captured when he forced his victim to write him a cheque in his own name and then tried to cash it, police said.
Officers said they arrested Anthony Roberts, 25, minutes after he left the woman's flat as he tried to cash the $US1400 ($1870) cheque. He had told the victim to write in the memo line that the cheque was for electrical work, Associated Press reports. "I don't know what the guy was thinking," said a police spokesman in Davie.

SMH 24-10-5

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Japan to rein in dangerous pets

2006-09-13T18:03:00.001+10:00

Japan to rein in dangerous pets

Tokyo: Japan will soon require owners of dangerous animals, such as crocodiles and pythons, to have microchips implanted in their pets in case the animals get loose.
The move follows incidents in which animals such as crocodiles and giant salamanders have been found wandering loose in cities.

In one notorious case, a man lost track of his pet python after he fell asleep on a park bench while taking the creature "for a walk". He was quoted by one TV station as saying he was surprised the snake disappeared because it wasn't that kind of snake.
- Reuters

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Song of protest

2006-09-13T18:02:00.001+10:00

Song of protest

The 13 of October 2005

A Florida pastor called police to remove 16 of his congregation who refused to stop singing as he tried to begin his sermon, Associated Press reports.
Pastor David Noel reported a disturbance at the Bethanie Seventh Day Adventist Church to the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office when the group would not allow the Saturday morning service to continue. The singers were issued with trespass warnings and left without incident.
One of the group said they were protesting against Noel's leadership and alleged misuse of insurance money for storm damage to the church.

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2006-09-13T18:00:00.001+10:00

2006-09-12T19:10:00.001+10:00

Hunt for hypnotic robber

The 11th of October 2005 - 11:23AM

Moldovan police are searching for a con artist using hypnotism to steal tens of thousands of dollars from unwitting bank tellers, the Infotag news agency reported on Monday.
The suspect, identified as Vladimir Kozak, 49, is believed to have taken more than $39,000 from bank employees unable to resist his powers, police said.
Kozak's biggest haul reportedly took place at the Chisinau-headquartered Universalbank last week, where law enforcers believe he convinced a bank teller to give him $12,000.
The victim later told police Kozak's technique was to start a friendly conversation, establish eye contact, and then put his target in a hypnotic state.
Once hypnotised, the teller agreed to hand over all the cash in her till.
Kozak has successfully targeted at least five other cashiers, the report said.
Chisinau police had placed a wanted poster with Kozak's picture in all major city banks, and had advised bank staff to call for security if he entered the premises.
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Police, however, were warning bank security personnel to avoid attempts to detain him because of his possible accomplices, and because of his potential ability to defend himself by hypnotism.
Moldova, a former Soviet republic, is Europe's poorest country. Automated banking is still in its infancy there.
DPA

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2006-09-12T19:04:00.001+10:00

Man builds up 30,000 volts of static electricity
Friday, the 16th of September 2005. 12:18pm (AEST)
Victorian authorities believe a man built up at least 30,000 volts of static electricity in his jacket simply by walking around the western Victorian city of Warrnambool yesterday.
The man left a trail of scorch marks and molten plastic behind him.
It was yesterday afternoon when Frank Clewer walked into a Warrnambool business and got his first shock.
"It sounded almost like a firecracker or something like that," he said.
"It was at the reception area. Within say, around five minutes, the carpet started to erupt," he said.
Burns the size of 10-cent pieces were left on the carpet where Mr Clewer had been standing.
The Country Fire Authority evacuated the building and those around it, fearing the power could cause larger electrical problems.
But Mr Clewer's worries continued when he got back in his car.
"I actually scorched a piece of plastic I had on the floor of the car," he said.
Scientist Karl Kruszelnicki says it is likely the electrical build-up was caused by a number of factors, such as the synthetic clothes the man was wearing.
"This poor guy has built up static electricity thanks to an unfortunate combination of insulating clothes that he's wearing, static, synthetic clothes, just walking along and he's just building up this static charge everywhere," Dr Kruszelnicki said.
"I've read of it but I've never heard of it here in Australia."
The CFA has Mr Clewer's jacket and says it is continuing to give off voltage.

ABC 16-9-5

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2006-09-11T18:16:00.001+10:00

Bosnian Bruce

The 14th of September 2005

The ethnically divided Bosnian city of Mostar has agreed to erect a new symbol of unity - a statue of the kung-fu legend Bruce Lee, who is worshipped by Muslims, Serbs and Croats.
A group of enthusiasts came up with the idea of honouring Lee on the 30th anniversary of his death in 2003. They launched the project, found donors and waited a year for the city's approval.
Veselin Gatalo, a member of the organisation the Urban Movement, told Reuters Mostar needed a symbol of justice, mastery and honesty - virtues the Chinese-American actor upheld.

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2006-09-11T18:15:00.001+10:00

Malaysia to build half a bridge over troubled waters: report
Sunday, the 4th of September 2005. 7:18pm (AEST)
It is reported that Malaysia will start work on a controversial new bridge halfway to Singapore, even though its neighbour has yet to announce plans to build the other half over the waterway which separates them.
Malaysian Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has given the "thumbs up" to the new bridge and Singapore would be told Tuesday of the decision in bilateral meetings, the New Straits Times reported, citing unnamed sources.
The newspaper said the new bridge on the Malaysian side had been designed to allow Singapore to link up to it later - a move that would apparently leave the bridge half-built across the Johor Strait.
"Malaysia has waited too long for Singapore to respond. We have no choice but go it alone," said a source.
While other bilateral feuds have been settled amidst thawing relations in the past year, the construction of a bridge across the narrow strait remains a thorny issue.
Malaysia's decision was prompted by the near-completion of a new 1.1 billion ringgit ($346 million) customs, immigration and quarantine complex in the southern state of Johor which faces Singapore, said the newspaper.
Malaysia wants traffic to flow to the new complex.
"We have no choice but go it alone because work on the new CIQ complex in Johor Baru is reaching an advanced state of completion," said the source.
Technical details of the bridge will be shown to Singapore on Tuesday at the bilateral meetings in Putrajaya, Malaysia's administrative capital, said the newspaper.
In 2000, when Singapore rejected Malaysia's proposal for a bridge to replace the 80-year-old causeway now linking the two, then-premier Mahathir Mohamad came up with the idea of what became known as "the crooked half-bridge".
The 1.45 kilometre half-bridge would have carried an eight-lane highway some 25 metres above the strait before curving and descending gently to link up with the causeway from Singapore at the border between the two countries.
But Mr Abdullah last December presented a new design for a conventional straight bridge linking the two sides.
Singapore said it would review the project to ensure "balanced benefits".
-AFP

ABC 4-9-5

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2006-09-11T18:13:00.001+10:00

Weekend escape
The 4th of September 2005

A Malaysian prison is offering adventurous travellers the chance to experience the joys of prison life - right down to the food and lack of toilets.
Johor Baru prison, Malaysia's oldest, has been turned into a visitor's centre and is offering an overnight package for 50 ringgit ($A17). But so far there haven't been any takers.
"Each visitor will be given a cell with a mattress and a blanket but no pillow, and they will eat prison food," Abdul Wahab Kassim, a senior prison department official, told the New Straits Times newspaper.
He said the overnight stays would "give an insight into prison life".
Asked why no one had yet tried the deal, he blamed a lack of publicity.
AFP

SMH 4-9-5

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2006-09-11T18:12:00.001+10:00

Spider woman in trouble

The 3rd of September 2005

A German woman laid waste to her family home by setting fire to it as she tried to kill spiders in a garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter.
Police in the western town of Zuelpich said that when the aerosol failed to finish them off, the 34-year-old woman tried to burn them with the lighter. However, this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge.
"It was a series of unfortunate events which led to the damage," a police spokesman said. "She tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but couldn't. Instead her semi-detached house next to the hedge caught fire. It's now uninhabitable."
Firefighters managed to extinguish the blaze and save the neighbouring house, which sustained broken windows and some charring. The spokesman estimated the total cost of the damage at well over $A164,000. No one was hurt.
"The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay," he said. "The spiders are gone though - that problem was solved."

Reuters

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2006-09-11T18:10:00.001+10:00

NZ pilot grounded after quip over PM's 'lateness'
Thursday, the 1st of September 2005. 10:00pm (AEST)
An Air New Zealand pilot has been grounded, after making a joke at the expense of the country's prime minister.
The airline says he needs what its called communication training.
On a flight to Christchurch the Air New Zealand pilot told passengers a delay was due to fog and because Prime Minister Helen Clark was late.
Several government ministers already on the plane objected to the comments and when Miss Clark boarded she was invited to the cockpit.
"This is an issue of fairness. The whole plane was told that I as Prime Minister was responsible for the delay. That just wasn't true," she said.
The pilot has apologised and has been grounded for two days.

ABC 2-9-5

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2006-09-10T15:28:00.001+10:00

Safe travel

The 2nd of September 2005

Thieves in Austria nearly derailed a passenger train after pushing a 15-kilogram stolen safe onto the track in the hope that a speeding locomotive would smash it open, Austrian police said.
The force of the collision, near Bregenz, did open the safe, a police spokesman said, "but nearly all the money was thrown out and the perpetrators had to flee," Agence France-Presse reports.
"The locomotive was very badly damaged and there was nearly a derailment."
The safe had contained about 5000 ($8000).
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2006-09-10T15:27:00.001+10:00

Scales of injustice

The 1st September 2005

A German court has ruled that the car maker DaimlerChrysler must release a man from a lease deal for a Mercedes-Benz after a dispute over whether he was too heavy to drive the luxury vehicle.
The newspaper Bild reported the company had refused to release the insurance salesman from a contract on his S320 CDI, arguing that the multiple breakdowns caused by his weight were insufficient grounds for him to break the deal.
But a court in Stuttgart ruled in favour of the salesman, named only as Frank S, apparently on the grounds that the car should have been able to take his weight.
He was told that at 160 kilograms he weighed twice as much as the average driver, Bild reported. "They told me that I was too fat for the car because the seat was broken," he told the newspaper. "I could hardly fit behind the steering wheel Then I had to take the car back to the shop for repairs 13 times for 21 different malfunctions in the first 20,000 kilometres."
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The 37-year-old said he got fed up and wanted to return the car, but when DaimlerChrysler refused to release him from his lease contract he went to court.
Bild said the salesman, who has switched to a Volkswagen, would sue to get back the leasing payments he made.
Reuters

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2006-09-10T15:26:00.001+10:00

Feeling fuelish

The 31st of August 2005

Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm ended up setting fire to their car.
Police said the three had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle on Monday. When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter. One click, a boom and the car burst into flames.
"It wasn't a major whodunit," Senior Sergeant Ross Gilbert told Reuters from Waipukurau, on the North Island. "Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity."
The men, aged 18 and 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.

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2006-09-10T15:24:00.001+10:00

Joke that bombed leaves red faces

The 27th of August 2005

Corona, California: Sami Habbas was sifting through his mail when he noticed a credit card offer addressed to "Palestinian Bomber".
The stunned Palestinian American opened the letter, which began "Dear Palestinian Bomber".
"I thought it was a joke or something," Mr Habbas said.
He telephoned JPMorgan Chase, which sent the solicitation, and two operators addressed him the same way: "Yes, Mr Bomber, what can we do for you?"
Mr Habbas, 54, a grocer who has lived in the US since he was three and has served in the US Army, said he was shocked. "It's very upsetting," he said. "I'm not what they are saying, a Palestinian bomber. That's uncalled for."
Chase Card Services, the Delaware-based credit card line of JPMorgan Chase, is investigating the solicitation.
"The information on the letter was obtained from a list purchased by Chase from a vendor," said Kelly Presta, executive vice-president of Chase Card Services.

"We are embarrassed by this incident and regret that our automatic screening procedures did not catch this erroneous information."
Associated Press

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2006-09-09T16:33:00.001+10:00

Fish lures man to his death

The 20th of August 2005

A fish caught in an east German lake got off the hook and then lured a fisherman to his death.
The fish pulled the fishing rod out of his hands and dragged it about 100 metres away from shore at the Kleinen Pohlitzer lake near Eisenhuettenstadt, police said. The man, 46, stripped and swam after the rod.
A witness said the man reached the rod but then stopped moving. The witness swam out to help him and pulled him back to shore, where he was pronounced dead.
Reuters

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