16 December, 2009

Topless flasher mown down by car

By New Zealand correspondent Kerri Ritchie

A New Zealand woman who flashed her breasts at passing motorists distracted one driver so much he ran her over.

Cherelle Dudfield never meant to literally stop traffic.

She says she was egged on by a friend to flash her breasts at passing cars while standing in the middle of a road in the South Island city of Invercargill.

But the good times turned bad when one of the vehicles crashed into her.

The 18-year-old rolled over the bonnet, and cracked the windscreen, but luckily was not hurt.

Ms Dudfield pleaded guilty in the Invercargill District Court to one charge of disorderly behaviour.

The judge said the behaviour was dangerous and fined her $220.


ABC 16-12-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/16/2773191.htm

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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.



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08 November, 2009

Fugitive gives own mug shot to newspaper

A British man on the run from police sent a picture of himself to his local paper because he disliked the mug shot they had printed of him as part of a public appeal to track him down.

South Wales police had issued media with the photo of Matthew Maynard, wanted by officers investigating a house burglary, as part of a crackdown on crime in Swansea.

When it appeared in the South Wales Evening Post, the 23-year-old sent the newspaper a replacement photo of himself standing in front of a police van.

They obligingly printed it on the front page.

The police thanked him for helping them in their appeal, saying: "Everyone in Swansea will know what he looks like now."

- Reuters


ABC 8-11-9

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Murphy's Technology Law #6: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.



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24 October, 2009

Pilots in 'heated discussion' forget to land plane

Pilots in 'heated discussion' forget to land plane

Aviation officials in the United States are investigating why the pilots on an airliner with 150 people on board lost contact with controllers for an hour and flew more than 200 kilometres past their destination.

The two pilots of North West Airline's flight 188 told US Transport Safety officials they lost contact with Air Traffic controllers because they had become distracted during a heated discussion about airline policy.

Federal investigators are expected to review the plane's voice recorders to determine whether the crew were indeed distracted or whether fatigue had been a factor.

When the airbus A-320 failed to respond to air traffic controllers military authorities were alerted and fighter jets were put on standby status over fears of a hijacking.

- BBC


ABC 24-10-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/10/23/2723000.htm

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Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.



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02 September, 2009

Mayors on one-way street to head-on collision

Police in Paris are dealing with traffic anarchy after the mayors of two feuding suburbs declared the same busy street one-way - but in opposite directions.

There was chaos among bemused drivers at the point where the rival systems converged, with all traffic forced down one side road.

The confusion followed a decision by the Mayor of Levallois who wanted to introduce a one-way system to free up traffic through his borough.

Fearing an overspill into his district, the Mayor of Clichy, Gilles Catoire, brought in a one-way system running the opposite direction.

The local prefect, representing the French state, has issued a decree ordering the immediate return of two-way traffic in Clichy, accusing its Mr Catoire of provoking serious disorder.

Mr Catoire is refusing to back down, saying he will challenge the decision in court.

- BBC


ABC 2-9-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/02/2674323.htm

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The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.



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15 July, 2009

Novel published one tweet at a time

An American writer who failed to find a publisher for his novel is putting the book on Twitter - 140 characters at a time.

Matt Stewart, a San Francisco-based novelist, began "tweeting" his first book, The French Revolution, on the micro-blogging service on Tuesday (local time).

"As far as I can tell, I'm the first person to release a completed full-length literary novel on Twitter," Stewart wrote on his website, www.thefrenchrev.com.

"Loosely structured on the greatest identity crisis ever, The French Revolution tells the story of a San Francisco family forging its place in history," he said.

Stewart says putting the book on Twitter is a "social experiment" to "see how the world reacts to a long-form tale told in snippets."

He also acknowledges that he has been unable to find a publisher.

"My agent submitted The French Revolution to all the major publishing houses," Stewart said.

"Many of them loved it, but none were willing to buy what they viewed as a 'risky' novel - vivid language, elements of fantasy and farce, raunchy humour," he said.

Stewart says it will take approximately 3,700 "tweets" to transmit all of the 480,000 characters in his book.

- AFP


http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/07/15/2626221.htm

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Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.


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24 June, 2009

Police clear street over kids' 'nuclear reactor'

Two six-year-old boys pretending to have built a mini nuclear power plant has prompted German police and the fire brigade to clear their street, authorities said.

The school children in the western town of Oelde had built the nuclear reactor mock-up out of a computer casing and taped a "radioactivity warning" they had printed out from the internet on its side.

"When the boys returned to their 'nuclear power plant' from a brief stop at home they were sent away again as the area and a wide radius around it had been cleared and blocked off," police said in a statement.

Residents were ordered not to leave their homes and firefighters tested for a radioactive leak.

The boys' parents thought the fire department was conducting a drill until they read about the operation online and what led to it.

They reported to the police station and explained their six-year-olds had not managed to build an actual nuclear reactor.

- AFP

ABC 24-6-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/23/2606539.htm

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Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?


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16 April, 2009

Escaped snakes ground Qantas plane

Qantas had to take a plane out of service because of escaped snakes earlier this week.

Four baby pythons went missing from the cargo hold on a flight from Alice Springs to Melbourne on Tuesday.

When staff realised they had escaped from their cage, the aircraft was taken out of service and fumigated, causing delays for passengers.

The snakes remain missing.


ABC 16-4-9

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/16/2544073.htm

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Updated regularly.

26 March, 2009

Killer SMS rumours sweep Egypt

The Egyptian Government has sought to dispel rumours that a mobile phone text message "from unknown foreign quarters" is spreading around the country and killing those who receive it.

The extraordinary move by Egypt's health and interior ministries follows press reports that an SMS containing a special combination of numbers killed a man in the town of Mallawi south of Cairo.

"He died vomiting blood, followed by stroke, shortly after he received a message from an unknown phone number," the Egyptian Gazette reported.

"The number begins with the symbol (+) and ends with (111)," it said.

An "official security source" was quoted by the official MENA news agency as denying that those who receive the SMS "get splitting headaches followed by brain haemorrhage that leads to death."

A statement from the health ministry quoted health officials in several regions as saying that they had "received no cases with such symptoms"

"These rumours contradict all scientific facts," the statement said.

Egypt's interior ministry has detained three workers at an oil company for allegedly starting the rumours "and they are now being interrogated," MENA said.

- AFP


ABC 26-3-9

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I am not infallible! Omniscient, yes, but infallible?


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24 January, 2009

'Magic' goat arrested for armed robbery

Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

"They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat."

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation.

Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

-Reuters


ABC 24-1-9

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.


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27 November, 2008

Barry Manilow music used as punishment

A US judge has hailed as a success a new form of punishment for people who go to court for being too noisy - an hour of listening to Barry Manilow or the theme tune from the children's TV show Barney And Friends.

Judge Paul Sacco said he decided to try something new after noticing that violators brought before his Colorado court for playing their stereos too loudly or disturbing neighbours with band rehearsals kept doing it again.

The usual practice of fining these offenders was not proving to be a deterrent, so he decided to give them a dose of their own medicine and make them listen to his musical selection at high volume for one hour.

"This is a way, when I look back, of teaching manners to people," Mr Sacco, a judge from Fort Lupton Municipal Court in Colorado, told Reuters Television.

He said his methods had cut the number of repeat offenders appearing in his court.

- Reuters

ABC 27-11-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/27/2430951.htm



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If a mute person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?


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25 October, 2008

Woman arrested over cyber-husband's death

Woman arrested over cyber-husband's death

Fri the 24th of Oct, 2008

A woman has been arrested in Japan after killing off her virtual reality husband in a computer game.

Police say she is suspected of fraudulently accessing the computer account of a man she had married in the virtual world in order to hack into his personal files.

She is then alleged to have killed his avatar or cyberspace alter ego.

The woman has been quoted as saying she was angry that her cyber partner divorced her without warning.

- BBC


ABC 25-10-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/24/2400982.htm

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Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.


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12 September, 2008

Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course

Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course

By Europe correspondent Emma Alberici

The UK's first Jedi course teaching personal development through a Star Wars syllabus will open to students at Queen's University in Belfast from November.

According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.

It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism.

The university says it hopes to attract young Star Wars fans and introduce them to education through open learning.

No prior qualifications are required and the blurb informs students that light sabres are not provided.


ABC 12-9-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/09/12/2362719.htm

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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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02 September, 2008

Malaysian man gets nut stuck around penis

Sunday the 31st of Aug 31, 2008

A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he gets engaged next week went embarrassingly wrong, a news report said.

The nut got stuck on his penis following an erection, the Star newspaper said, forcing him to seek help at a hospital in southern Johor state.

Staff from the Sultanah Aminah hospital had to drain some blood from the penis and cut away a top layer of skin before the object could be removed, the newspaper said.

It said the fire and rescue department were also involved in trying to remove the nut from the unnamed welder, who is in his 20s and hoped the nut would weigh down his penis to make it longer.

"The patient is now recovering and we hope to discharge him today (Sunday)," hospital director Daud Abdul Rahim told the Star.

On August 25, another young man in Kuala Lumpur had tried to increase his sexual prowess by slipping a steel ring around his penis, forcing the fire department to cut off the ring after doctors were unable to remove it, the newspaper said.

- AFP


ABC 2-9-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/31/2351244.htm

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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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12 July, 2008

Russian town puts breasts on a pedestal

A Russian town plans to unveil a monument that shows a man's hand gripping a nubile female breast, which officials say will bring "family happiness" to men who touch it, Russian media reported.

The monument will be opened to the public Saturday in Bataisk, a town of about 100,000 in the Rostov region of southern Russia, a spokesman for the Bataisk administration told the Interfax news agency.

"A bas-relief of a female silhouette has been made on a metal plate, with a man's hand on the breast. It is believed that if a man touches this bust, he will gain family happiness," the spokesman said.

Sculptor Anatoly Sknarin was inspired by a similar sculpture he saw in the red-light district of Amsterdam, the Moskovsky Komsomolets daily newspaper reported.

- AFP

ABC 12-7-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/07/12/2301991.htm


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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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06 July, 2008

Shopkeepers warned of sheep in Queen's clothing.

The 6th of July 2008

New Zealand shopkeepers are being fleeced by fake 100 dollar notes featuring a sheep wearing a tiara in the place where Queen Elizabeth's portrait should be.

Police said the notes, which all bear the same serial number, were crude forgeries but some merchants in Rodney, near Auckland, where they were circulating, were taken in, the Herald on Sunday reported.

The Queen's tiara-wearing portrait features on all New Zealand bank notes.

DPA


SMH 6-7-8

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/warning-over-sheep-in-queens-clothing/2008/07/06/1215282624396.html

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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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03 July, 2008

Monumental enema for small town

Article from: NEWS.com.au

By staff writers

July 03, 2008 08:44am

A TOWN in southern Russia has erected a monument in the shape of an enema to celebrate the famous medical procedure.

The bronze syringe bulb sculpture held by three angels was unveiled in the city of Zheleznovodsk, a region known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Standing at 1.5m and weighing 400kg, the $44,000 sculpture was installed in a square in front of the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, with a banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas".

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," said spa director Alexander Kharchenko.

"An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The monument was designed with "irony and humour", said sculptor Svetlana Avakina, who modelled the angels on the works of Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

Ms Avakina hoped to promote the sculpture as a brand and turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she said.


Daily Telegraph 3-7-8

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23961658-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss

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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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29 June, 2008

Manure thief falls into dung, flees naked

A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said.

Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen on Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.

"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."

Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs", but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.

"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station - unwashed," the spokesman added.

- Reuters


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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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22 May, 2008

Wolf whistlers wish - woman whips off woollies

Wolf whistlers wish - woman whips off woollies

Road workers in a small New Zealand town got their wish granted when a woman stripped, saying she was fed up with their wolf-whistles.

The Israeli tourist was about to use an ATM in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA) reported.

She calmly stripped off, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walking away.

The woman told police she did not take too kindly to the whistling from the men repairing the road.

"She said she had thought 'bugger them, I'll show them what I've got'," police Sergeant Peter Masters told NZPA.

"She gave the explanation that she had been ... pestered by New Zealand men. She's not an unattractive looking lady," Sgt Masters said.

"She was taken back to the police station and spoken to and told that was inappropriate in New Zealand."

- Reuters


ABC 22-5-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/05/22/2252372.htm

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" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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06 May, 2008

Hump road sign slightly misleading

Hump road sign slightly misleading

Article from:
Herald Sun

May 06, 2008 03:29pm

A ROAD sign depicting two people in a passionate embrace above the word "hump" has angered VicRoads.

The sign is believed to be the work of a mysterious artist in Langwarrin, south of Melbourne.

Motorists have reported seeing other fake road signs along Cranbourne-Frankston Rd, Langwarrin, according to the Frankston Leader.

VicRoads regional director Steve Brown said the stunt was illegal and unsafe.

[]


Daily Telegraph 6-5-8

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23654529-5001028,00.html?from=public_rss


. . . . . .


" Do or not do, there is no try. -Yoda "


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This week Chaweng Beach.

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07 March, 2008

Monk caught with 230 porn films in monastery: report

Monk caught with 230 porn films in monastery: report

A Benedictine monk has been caught with around 230 pornographic films in his room in a monastery in western Germany, the local Abendzeitung newspaper reported on Thursday.

The discovery was made after the monk was caught trying to steal four gay pornography DVDs from a sex shop in the Bavarian city of Wuerzburg in southern Germany.

After an assistant caught him stealing the films, the 49 year-old fled, throwing his loot in a rubbish bin before being caught by police.

The monk lives at the 900-year-old Maria Laach Abbey in Rhineland-Palatinate.


ABC 7-3-8

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/03/07/2183201.htm

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" A meeting consists of a group of people who have little to say - until after the meeting. -P.K. Shaw "


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This week Careel Bay.

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